Pit Stop: Baby: Dirty DILFs Book 4 Read online

  I ran my fingertip over the donkey’s tail. “Do you ever wonder what you missed out on?”

  “Huh?”

  “Like, you know, in life. You only ever dated that loser Tommy and then you came here, and in no time, you were shackled to Dare and squeezing out a kid. You never got to really party.”

  “Me? Party?” Kelsey laughed. “My idea of a party is crocheting baby hats while watching The Great British Baking Show. When I get really wild, Sage and Ally come over to make fun of the show and we drink hot cocoa.”

  “You’re pretty tight with them now, huh?”

  Kelsey carried her tea cup to the table. “Yeah, I am. It’s awesome. I always wanted girlfriends. The kind who just get you and make you laugh and you can say anything to. You know what I mean?”

  I started to answer. I even had a good reply in my head.

  Yes. That’s sweet. I’m glad that you have that in your life now. You deserve it.

  Instead, I began blubbering.

  Kelsey frowned and paused with her tea cup halfway to her mouth. “Ry? What are you—is that—oh my God, you’re crying. I didn’t think you could.”

  Through my tears, I choked out a laugh. “What?”

  “I always thought you’d been born without tear ducts.”

  That was the impression I liked to give off. So much for that right now. “Surprise.”

  Kelsey made a soft noise of distress and waddled around the table to stroke my hair. I’d braided it to get it out of my face, so she couldn’t do much more than pat, but even that helped. “I heard about the job. Don’t fret. Kathy is a stone-cold bitch.”

  It was my turn to goggle. My sister never said stuff like that about people. She was the sweet one. I was the…not sweet one. “How did you find out?”

  Kelsey waved off the question. “Small town. You know how it is.”

  Even considering where I’d grown up, Crescent Cove was its own kind of beast. I was learning the hard way.

  “But you can find something else. They’re always looking for people down at the school. Oh!” She clapped her hands as if she was bringing her classroom to order. “Just last week, the receptionist gave her notice. You’re great with filing.”

  “My nails?”

  “No, silly. You’ve had secretarial jobs before.”

  I had, but not many and not for long. Though that covered my job history in full. I was out almost as fast as I was in. “Yes. But at a school? Especially a Catholic school? I’m not the poster child for clean living.”

  Kelsey frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean? You haven’t fallen into a bad crowd since moving here, have you, Ry?”

  I had to laugh. “Is there even such a thing in Crescent Cove?”

  “Of course there is. This a small town, but there’s still a criminal element and shady characters.”

  “Where? I’ve never seen one. And I gotta say, you sound so adorably prim and proper right now. This kid is going to be very well-mannered or else lose his mind and join a rock band.” I patted her beach ball belly as she gasped.

  “A rock band? Those heathens?” But she was grinning, which I suspected was as much for my benefit as out of real amusement.

  Forget her reaction to her kid being in a rock band. I’d prefer to see Dare’s. He’d probably ground him for life—even after he was of age. Dungeon, anyone?

  “You don’t have to worry. I’m not doing anything dangerous. I definitely couldn’t now, even if I wanted to.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Today is supposed to be about you and your little dude. Not me and my…issues.” Though saying it that way felt wrong. My kid might be scaring the holy hell out of me, but he or she wasn’t a problem. I refused to see my baby that way. The last thing I wanted to do was traumatize the child before he or she was even born.

  Besides, Gage seemed totally on-board with the idea. So weird. Why wasn’t he having panic attacks like most men who knocked up a random stranger would be? We were family, sort of, but that was an accident of…well, procreation too when it came right down to it. Who knew if Kelsey and Dare would’ve gotten married if she hadn’t been pregnant? I mean, they were completely gonzo over each other—anyone could see that—but the baby had certainly pushed them together.

  Just like you and Gage.

  Hmm. Yeah, no. Not the same at all. Gage wouldn’t be proposing anytime soon.

  I didn’t think.

  Would he?

  I fought back a shiver and looked up at my sister, who was staring at me. “Rylee, you better spill. Pronto.”

  “You should sit down.”

  “That good, huh?” But she followed my directive and eased herself into the chair beside me.

  I fiddled with the donkey’s tail on the salt shaker. “You can’t tell Mom or Dad yet. I will. Soon. Probably soon.”

  Kelsey just waited.

  “So, it turns out I’m a little bit pregnant.”

  Kelsey’s red eyebrows climbed toward her hairline. “Come again?”

  “I’m knocked up. Like you. Well, not like you. Holy ready to burst.” I shuddered. “But you know, same concept.”

  On the bright side, my sister did not look at me as if I’d grown another set of eyeballs or something equally horrific. She also did not cheer with unabashed joy.

  Not really surprising about the joy part, considering I was unemployed and technically single and unemployed and technically single.

  Yes, both bore repeating.

  “Are you sure?”

  A telltale tickle made me clear my throat. “According to Clear Blue Easy, Oopsy Daisy You’re Expecting, and Momma Beans, yes, I am.”

  “Rylee.” Kelsey pressed her hands to her cheeks. “I—I don’t know what to say.”

  That my normally chatty sister didn’t even have a comment made my eyes ache. They didn’t fill again, thank God, just burned. “That makes two of us.”

  “Are you…” She stopped and took a breath. “This wasn’t planned?”

  That I could still laugh was a minor miracle. “No. Definitely not.”

  “Are you keeping it?”

  I nodded vehemently. On that one point, I was certain. “Yes. This is my baby.”

  Even as I said the words aloud, I heard Gage correcting me in my head.

  Our baby.

  “And the father?” Kelsey laced her fingers together over her swollen belly. “Have you thought of how you’re going to tell him?”

  “Don’t have to. He was there when I found out.”

  “Oh.”

  Yep, that was my sister, being all loquacious. “Oh?” I repeated.

  “Yes, that’s a good sign then, if he’s involved that much. How did he react?”

  “He kept me from hitting the floor. So, I’d say that’s a plus.” I rubbed my forehead. “Look, this is a tricky situation for all of us, but I wanted to give you a head’s up so you had time to get used to the idea before Dare finds out and gets all…Dare.”

  “Why would Dare have an opinion? He’s your brother-in-law and he cares about you of course, but he wouldn’t presume to overstep and offer opinions where they weren’t wanted.”

  “Because um, hello, the father is Gage. You really think Dare won’t insert his size thirteens and get all up in our business?”

  I’d never seen a person pale before my eyes. Especially considering my sister was practically Casper the friendly ghost’s cousin in terms of skin tone to begin with. But yep, it was really a thing.

  I was getting all kinds of educations this week. Lucky me.

  “Whoops, sorry, I’m guessing you didn’t make that connection.” I looked down at my mostly flat belly and sighed. “Just call us two sisters for two brothers, Kel, because you aren’t the only Ford to get knocked up by a Kramer.”

  “Oh, God.” Kelsey buried her face in her hands, her long red ponytail flopping forward over her head like a droopy penis. Lord, I had sex on the brain. “Oh, God.”

  “That good, huh?”


  “Dare is going to flip. He’s already got issues with Gage, and if he finds out he was irresponsible enough to knock you up, along with quitting racing—”

  “Hold up, sister. What do you mean that he was irresponsible enough to knock me up when it takes two to tango? Also, uh, didn’t Dare plant his flag in your fertile bush before the bonds of matrimony had taken place?”

  Just like that, color flooded Kelsey’s cheeks to replace all that she’d lost. “That was different.”

  “Why, because now you’re happily married so the past doesn’t count?”

  “Never mind that. Are you sure it’s Gage’s? Maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s someone else’s.”

  “Excuse me? Do you think I’m some sort of hussy?” Indignation had me grabbing the donkey salt shaker and waving it for emphasis. After I made sure the little holes were closed.

  See, I could be practical.

  “No, of course not. It’s just sometimes hard to be certain. When I found out I was pregnant, I wasn’t sure who the father was at first, and it didn’t make me a hussy.” Kel frowned. “Though it was my one and only chance to say I was one, so maybe I should own it?”

  “You own what you like. And seriously? You let Tommy slip you the sausage while you were riding Dare’s pony?”

  “Too many metaphors. Save my brain.”

  My lips twitched despite the situation. “After you had coitus with Dare, you really went back and had intercourse with Tommy? How?”

  “Other way around, and it wasn’t that cut and dried. Tommy was just a one-time thing after his grandma’s funeral, and Dare brought me a pizza and—” She flushed up to her hairline and waved it off. “Anyway, this baby is Dare’s and we’re talking about you. I just wanted to make sure you had the DNA right. No shame in it if you’ve been with another guy.”

  “Oh, the DNA’s right. No doubt there. I haven’t been with anyone else but him in all these months.” I set down the donkey and sighed. “Haven’t wanted to be either. He broke me somehow. And going back for seconds didn’t make me lose interest either. He’s got a magic tongue and magic hands and a magic—”

  “Stop. Brother-in-law. Don’t make it weird when he passes the gravy boat, please.”

  I had to laugh as I rubbed my thumbs under my eyes. I hated crying. “While we’re on the subject, do you mind giving me the name of your doctor here? I’d planned on just going back to Turnbull, but it seems like I’ll be at the doc’s more often for a bit. Local would be handier.”

  Also, when it came time to give birth, closer was better. Since I would be in unrelenting agony and all, considering pumpkins weren’t supposed to be shoved out of narrow places. No matter what my biology teacher had said.

  Yeah, I wasn’t going to think about that part yet.

  “Sure. My doctor is fabulous. You’ll love her. The info is in my planner.”

  “Of course. My super organized sister.”

  And me? I thought I was doing well if I managed to remember what TV shows I wanted to DVR.

  “I know it makes it awkward for you.”

  “Forget me. Dare is going to have a kitten. He already thinks Gage can’t even remember to mail an envelope, and now he’s going to be responsible for a kid?” Kelsey’s frown lines deepened about six inches. “He is taking responsibility, isn’t he?”

  “Well, it’s early days yet, but he seems to be. He’s been very attentive. Almost too much.”

  “Kramer family trait.” Kelsey nodded sagely. “But we’ll make sure he understands this is an eighteen year commitment. Just so he doesn’t think he can dabble.”

  Before I could ask what exactly that whole we thing meant, the front door opened with a wave of female laughter.

  My belly clenched and I was pretty sure it wasn’t just because I was already ready for dinner though it was barely past lunch.

  Kelsey squeezed my hand and lurched to her feet. “In here, girls.”

  Sage Hamilton and Ally Hamilton strolled in, laden with bags of party gear. They stopped dead at the sight of me, though both quickly smiled. “Rylee. How nice to see you. Are you coming shopping with us?”

  I smiled weakly at Ally. “Yeah, I figured I’d see what all went down at Baby Rama.”

  God help me.

  “Just as well you learn now before—” Kel broke off and clapped as she smiled brightly. “So, whatcha got in the bags?”

  I didn’t cover my face, but it was close. My sister was legendary for opening her mouth and inserting hands, feet, and half her torso.

  Lucky me.

  Ally cleared her throat and glanced between me and my sister with obvious empathy. “Stuff for the shower. It was touch and go collecting it all from Sage and Oliver’s due to the projectile vomiting.”

  I shrank back in horror. “Oliver?”

  Sage’s eyebrows beetled. “Do you know my husband? He would need to be tranquilized before he endured such natural bodily functions. No, Star. My poor baby.” She sighed. “Stupid virus. I hated leaving her.”

  “She’s with Seth and Oliver,” Ally said with a soothing arm pat.

  “I hated leaving her,” Sage repeated. “Those two with two babies and Laurie? God.”

  “Seth has raised a child of his own through babyhood and into first grade. I’m quite certain he can handle Star’s little spot of the flu.”

  “She was erupting from both ends.”

  I was looking under the table, trying to see if I could fit under it, when my sister tugged on my braid. “Don’t scare Ry senseless.”

  “Star’s fine.” Ally waved it off. “You don’t know my best friend very well, Rylee, but she has a flair for the dramatic. Oliver barely blinked when we left.”

  “If barely blinked means he was practically on his knees, begging me not to leave.” Sage pulled out a kitchen chair and set down her pile of bags, half of which toppled over and hit the floor.

  Though Kelsey was as big as the circular table, she immediately tried to bend over to clean up the mess. Sage, however, was too busy gesturing with her hands to notice.

  “Tip for you, Ry, since you’re the youngest of us. Men are basically children, no matter how old they are. They pretend to be so competent, and they can handle things like hammering nails and such, but when it comes to the biggies? Like changing diapers and staying up with sick babies and wiping up diarrhea off child seats? Yeah, they suck.”

  Ally hurried forward to help Kelsey. “Don’t paw through those. That’s shower stuff. You can’t see the theme until the big day.”

  Kelsey beamed. “Aww, I love circus animals. That’s so sweet.”

  Too late there.

  “I told you we should’ve left this stuff at your place,” Ally said over her shoulder to Sage. “Now the surprise is ruined.”

  “My house needs a full Lysol sweep. I didn’t want to risk infecting Kel. Do you know how potent that virus is?”

  “So, you bring your child over to spend the day with mine? Thanks, bestie.” Ally flipped Sage the middle finger.

  Had I really been mildly jealous of my sister being tight with these women? It must be pregnancy hormones. They were very chatty and shared far too much about bodily functions.

  Macy’s snark and lack of interest in anything baby-related was much more my speed.

  Welcome to your new reality, baby girl. Your world is going to be full of kid stuff.

  “Really, you both could’ve skipped today. Ry is here. She can help me set up the registry—”

  “Oh, come on, Oliver and Seth are in each other’s pockets constantly. Star will be infecting Alex any day now. Maybe this way he’ll build up some immunity.”

  “Or maybe Seth and Oliver will both get sick and we’ll be in hell.” Ally shook Sage’s shoulders. “Hell, woman.”

  “Is this what it’s like being knocked up by brothers?” I wondered aloud, causing everyone to turn my way.

  I realized after the fact that my question sounded much different than my intent.

  “Um,
I don’t mean one woman being knocked up by brothers. I mean, like if you and your sister—” I cleared my throat. Yes, Kelsey and I were definitely biologically related, judging by our mouths. “It was on Jerry yesterday. Good episode.”

  “Oh, wow, you’re still with Dare’s brother? Holy shit. I thought that was just a one-nighter deal. Judging from the wedding fireworks—” Sage broke off and nudged Ally out of the way to come over to the table. “He’s delicious. Go you.”

  “Uh, thanks? And no, we aren’t really together in that sense.” I bit my lip. “Sometimes it’s just sex and you get pregnant.”

  Even as I said the words, they didn’t seem quite right. Sure, that night in December, we’d been riding the lust train. But now? We weren’t exactly out of that place, but it seemed like we were kind of straddling another one too. Friends with benefits, maybe, but more? Or it could be more, if I wasn’t a freak who was too scared to let the guy spend the night.

  Or the afternoon.

  Sage looked around the room at the other women. “Hello, you’re preaching to the choir. We all were in that situation. Well, minus Ally because she was in love with Seth since the moment he insulted her in like, what was it, seventh grade?”

  “Tenth. And it wasn’t an insult. Exactly.” Ally whacked Sage lightly on the arm. “What my big-mouthed bestie means is sometimes an accident can lead to…well, a miracle.”

  Sage frowned. “I didn’t mean that, but that’s really sweet.”

  I looked down at the table. My hands were fisted, the knuckles white. I wasn’t used to miracles. My life was mostly a train wreck collision most of the time, broken up by stretches of boredom that caused me to do something crazy.

  Like climbing Gage like a stripper pole that night at The Spinning Wheel.

  “I don’t know what this is yet,” I said, hating that everyone was looking at me.

  Waiting for me to declare that I was madly in love with Gage.

  Or that he was madly in love with me.

  It didn’t always work out that way. I didn’t want to borrow trouble and expect something that might not be in the cards. My priority was my kid.

  Our kid.

  Gage and I were incidental to making sure the baby got what he or she needed. If we managed to figure that out, I wouldn’t ask for more.